wumblr:

now that the statute of limitations has expired, i can say that during the pandemic, my apartment complex at the time tried to change the laundry room hours to business hours, and i very calmly and quietly went down, took a cinderblock off the garden wall, and threw it through the glass door. and it stayed open til 9pm, and we never heard about changing hours again. sometimes you have to throw a cinderblock in a very businesslike manner, i’m saying. this is a negotiation, among stakeholders, and i would like to make clear that the cost/benefit balance sheet used to make the decision to change the hours was missing a variable

vampirecatboy:

reverendsus:

smt1:

ohhh having a job is actually ruining my life.  ok

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sashayed:

imagine being a bird watching hot ones. you’d be like “wtf is ‘hot sauce,’ peppers don’t do that” bc you don’t have the neural receptors that cause a burning sensation if your tissues come in contact with capsaicin; you can stick your whole head in a ghost pepper no problem, so you’d think, wow these bald apes are full of shit they are faking a whole big physiological response to normal food for entertainment. weird. and then you’d be like wait, what are they eating? what are they eating?

needyfem:

yearning for being talked through it like, one hand working between my thighs as they look into my hazy eyes and keep asking me if it feels “good?” “yeah?” “gonna cum?” “gonna give it to me?…” “doing so good for me, baby…"keep going… ” & praising me when they get a dumb reply😵‍💫

correlatedcontents:

i grew up in a small rural town where there was one dentist, which i went to from around age 5 whenever my parents had the right insurance/money/time to get me there. anyway when i’m like 20 or so i started having minor issues with my wisdom teeth coming in, but not so severe that this place can’t extract them.

so i go in for that and i’m sitting there in the chair and the assistant comes in looking at some paperwork and says “so you’ve been coming here for a while right?” and i am like “oh yeah since i was a little kid” and she replies “yeah, i thought so, there’s one note on your file and it’s ‘patient likes dinosaurs and bugs’”

goblinparty:

not gonna lie, when i saw that a cybertruck had exploded i legit didn’t realize it was some sort of premeditated thing, i just thought it was just another extreme flaw in it’s design. i had no idea fireworks were involved, i honest to god thought it just did that on its own

rococo-the-clown:

rococo-the-clown:

rococo-the-clown:

heaven011:

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Can’t quite cope with how much this looks like me and my dad

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It begins

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Photo credit to the exceeding bemused sound technician we bribed with two cans of Carlsberg to permit us access to his gazebo.

casperthefuckinghost:

my new years resolution for 2025:

1. get hotter

2. lesbian sex

charlott2n:

nyancrimew:

tweet from yuriFangs: amazing. they managed to fit fruit juice in a perfectly sealed box. I'll use this straw to investigateALT
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guerrillatech:

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lordoftablecloths:

lordoftablecloths:

earth-oddity:

2000 was almost 14 years ago
2000 was almost 14 years ago
2000 was almost 14 years ago

hey op guess what

oh nevermind you’re died

gondwana:

wolfwarrior142:

gondwana:

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It’s over

If it makes you feel better. Our pigs’ favorite meal is a bucket of rotting whole cow’s milk that we specifically let get gross before giving to em cuz they love it that way. Its not their main food, cuz thats grain, but they still get a lot of disgusting milk. So thats kinda like slop I guess

Ok ❤️ yay ❤️

making-friendos:

making-friendos:

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A series

An addition:

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Small dogs are good dogs too!

the-aefe:

catbot2000:

maxdowt:

candyredterezii:

afloweroutofstone:

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Tea party

fae court

The council to decide your fate

charlesoberonn:

cryptotheism:

“You think you’re informed just because you read a bunch of grainy PDFs?”

Yeah man. Reading scholarly works on a topic informs you on that topic. That’s how this works.

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